Quick recap, I don't like hearing the word "no" (with exception of things like "no you're not dying"). In my super cool brain, no = rejection. Total rejection.
Weird right? I mean that's pretty extreme. And we can't all be perfect. I've got good hair, so this brain misfire could be a way to balance things out.
Anyway, I decided to purposefully seek out situations that I thought I'd get a "no". Kind of like tough love therapy. Maybe if I heard it enough, I wouldn't cry myself to sleep at night anymore. (That's actually a joke. I don't cry. Not like I'm too manly to cry. My face holes just don't work right).
But, I digress. There was a fatal flaw in my grand plan. "No" was a bit elusive. I got a lot of "yes".
- yes we'd like you to come do a show
- yes we'll pay you what you asked
- yes I'll do you a favor while expecting nothing
- yes, yes, yes, yes
THIS DROVE ME INSANE. I only did that for a few months. What if I had done that for the last 30+ years??? I could be king of America or something. In all seriousness, how much have I left on the table by saying "no" for someone else?
The big question is why would I really say "no" for someone else? Is my ego really that fragile?
Then it hit me - it's all about control. Some of us are control freaks. We like to think we can micromanage every detail of life so that we receive the desired outcome. This is a frustrating endeavor...mostly because it's impossible.
Life becomes a huge psychoanalysis of what other's perceptions are of me at any given time. "What if they took what I said the wrong way"? "What if they didn't get my intent and assumed something completely different"?
Then this little gem came to me - so what if they do? I hope that others know me well enough to assume the best in situations. But if they don't, then a phrase I heard a lot growing up comes to mind - C'est la vie. "Such is Life".
If I spend my life trying to ensure that everyone else is happy, the only thing I'm confident I'll succeed in is making myself miserable.
The big question is why would I really say "no" for someone else? Is my ego really that fragile?
Then it hit me - it's all about control. Some of us are control freaks. We like to think we can micromanage every detail of life so that we receive the desired outcome. This is a frustrating endeavor...mostly because it's impossible.
Life becomes a huge psychoanalysis of what other's perceptions are of me at any given time. "What if they took what I said the wrong way"? "What if they didn't get my intent and assumed something completely different"?
Then this little gem came to me - so what if they do? I hope that others know me well enough to assume the best in situations. But if they don't, then a phrase I heard a lot growing up comes to mind - C'est la vie. "Such is Life".
If I spend my life trying to ensure that everyone else is happy, the only thing I'm confident I'll succeed in is making myself miserable.
goLiveBIGGER
